The Choices of a Narcissist
- Jessica Jardine
- May 5, 2025
- 2 min read
Updated: Sep 8, 2025
Choices can Hurt
I was afraid to let my mother make her own decisions. From a young age, she taught me to take responsibility for her life—her emotions, safety, happiness, and even her sanity—even at the expense of my well-being.
Unfortunately, I depended on her cooperation and participation to "fix" her, not realizing, at the time, that it was an impossible task. That impossible urge to "fix" others carried over into all of my relationships, shaping the way I connected with people and often leaving me emotionally depleted.
My mother’s choices have always seemed to lead to catastrophe. Balance and peace make her uncomfortable, as if she needs chaos to feel alive. Her personal Hell began the moment she embraced the identity of a victim. She continues to create a life steeped in victimhood, no matter the cost. Now, in her older age, the mask she wore so convincingly has begun to fall. It's no longer easy for her to manipulate her once-enchanted audience. For the first time, I see her not as the figure I once tried to save, but as someone deeply vulnerable.
The most valuable lesson I’ve learned from my mother’s life is this: I will not choose to be a victim in mine.
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Understanding the Pain
The key is to understand the purpose of your pain. And that journey begins by first acknowledging what the pain has taught you.
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